goodby my daughter

GOODBYE MY DARLING DAUGHTER
Current mood: bummed

MY DARLING DAUGHTER TANJA..!
A VERY WISE MAN, ALBERT EINSTEIN, SAID ONCE "..THERE IS NO GREATER TRAGEDY IN LIFE THAN THE LOSS OF A CHILD" IT IS AN UNIMAGINABLE TRAGEDY TO OVERCOME THE LOSS OF THREE OF MY CHILDREN. IT IS VERY HARD TO FIND YOUR HEALING PATH AFTER SUCH A CRUEL EVENT.
I FORGIVE YOU, MY DARLING DAUGHTER! I KNOW YOUR PAIN IN YOUR HEART, BODY AND SOUL MUST HAVE BEEN JUST UNBEARABLE TO LEAVE ME LIKE THIS. EMPTYHANDED, LOST AND THE WALL OF EMPTYNESS CLOSING IN. REMEMBER, MY SWEET ANGEL, AS YOU PROPABLY ARE ROCKI.NG YOUR LITTLE SISTER NICOLE AND HOLDING OPI'S HAND, KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEANT TO ME. YOU KNOW, YOU WERE MY TOOTSIEFLUFF, MY SISTER, MY BEST FRIEND AND MY CONFIDANT. YOU WERE MY SOULMATE, MY DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH...
WHEN I FOUND YOU THAT NIGHT, 40 MINUTES AFTER. YOU CALLED ME AND SAID " GOOD NIGHT MAMA, I LOVE YOU, BUT I AM TIRED.. AND I AM GOING TO SLEEP NOW" I ARRIVED AT THE HOUSE AND I FOUND YOUR LETTER. I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING, PULLING A BAD JOKE OR SHOWING ME YOUR NEWEST MICHAEL JACKSON COSTUME IDEA FOR HALLOWEEN.
SO I EXPECTED NOTHING BAD GOING DOWN THE STAIRS. I LOOKED IN YOUR ROOM, THE DOOR WAS OPEN. THE LIGHTS WERE ON. AN ODD SMELL IN THE AIR. I SAW YOU LYING THERE WITH YOUR BLACK AND RED HAIR ALL MANGELD UP AND SOME, WHAT I THOUGHT CREEPY HALLOWEENMASK ON YOUR FACE AS YOU WERE STARING AT THE CEILI.NG. "TANJA, THAT'S NOT FUNNY.." I YELLED OUT. "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING UP IN THE CEILING FOR, AS I AM LOOKING UP TO SEE, WHAT YOU ARE STARING AT. THAN I SHOOK YOU, SHOOK YOUR HEAD, SCREAMED AT YOU "..LOOK AT ME, TANJA..!..!!!" AS I STARTED FEELING MY FINGERS AND HANDS GET WET. I LOOKED AT THEM. COULDN'T FIGURE OUT, WHY THEY ARE WET. THAN I REALIZED "IT IS BLOOD... THERE.. IS NO MASK!.. JUST A HUGE GAPING HOLE BETWEEN YOUR BEAUTIFUL EYES!..!..!..!..!..!!!" I STARTED SCREAMING... "OH GOD, NO, NO, NO! PLEASE NOT AGAIN..." STILL TRYING TO SHAKE YOU AWAKE WAITING FOR A MIRACLE. I FINALLY FOUND THE STRENGHT TO LET GO OF YOU AND CALL 911. THEY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND ME, COULDN'T DECIVER WHAT I WAS SAYING, COULDN'T UNDERSTAND OUR ADDRESS, CAUSE I KEPT WEEPING AND CRYING. FINALLY POLIC.E ARRIVED. I HAD TO PUT JAEGER IN MY ROOM, SO THEY COULD COME IN. THE POLICEMAN BROUGHT THE RESCUEGEAR... I GUESS.. THEY DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT THERE WAS NO HOPE FOR YOU. HE MADE ME GO BACK DOWNSTAIRS, WHERE YOU LAID IN YOUR BLOOD. NOW I SAW ALL THE BLOOD.ON THE WALL, THE BED, THE CEILING, THE CARPET. OZZY MUST HAVE STEPPED IN SOME OF IT, CAUSE THERE WERE BLOODY PAWPRINTS EVERYWHERE... NOW THE POLICE REALIZES THERE IS NO HELP, NO RESCUE. JUST YOUR SUICIDE. AS I AM STANDING BY YOUR SIDE, HOLDING YOUR HAND, HE TELLS ME TO LEAVE THE ROOM. I DIDN'T WANT TO GO, MY LITTLE GIRL... I KNEW IF I LEFT, THERE WAS NO RETURN. I LOVED YOU SO MUCH, I NEEDED YOU SO MUCH. WE LEANED ON EACH OTHER, SEND GOOFY TEXTS BACK AND FOURTH. I MISS YOUR EMAILS, ALWAYS SOME WEIRD GOOFY CLIP ATTACHED OR YOUR PANIKRIDDEN PHONECALLS.. "..MAMA,.. HOW DO I TURN THE COFFEEMAKER ON!' I STILL HAVE THE NOTE YOU LEFT ME ONCE ON THE COMPUTER "I LOVE YOU MAMA!.. MUAH TANJA..!" I TAPED IT GOOD, SO IT WOULDN'T RIP OR BREAK.
MY LITTLE ANGEL, I DON'T HATE YOU FOR DOING WHAT YOU DID. I COULD NEVER HATE YOU. I FORGIVE YOU FOR DOING WHAT YOU DID AND MAYBE, IF YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN HOW HARD THIS IS FOR ME AND YOUR BROTHER, JUST MAYBE WE COULD HAVE CHANGED YOUR MIND. I KNOW IN YOUR SHORT LIFE YOU HAD MANY ILLNESSES TO BATTLE AND MANY MORE TO COME... KNOW THAT I AM HAPPY YOU ARE FREE OF PAIN AND SUFFERING AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER TILL WE MEET AGAIN IN ETERNITY. TAKE CARE OF YOUR SIBLINGS FOR ME, MY SUNSHINE. KNOW THAT YOUR BROTHER AND I WILL TRY TO FIND PEACE, EVEN THOUGH, FOR NOW THERE IS JUST PAIN, TURMOIL, HURT AND AN INCREDIBLE EMPTYNESS. MY ARMS ARE STILL REACHING OUT, TRYING TO HUG YOU, JUST TO FIND, THERE IS NOTHING THERE...
I WEAR THE RING YOU BOUGHT ME EVERY DAY AS I AM TRYING TO HEAL. I MADE A HUGE POSTER OF YOU FOR THE LIVINGROOM WITH ALL YOUR GOOFY, SILLY AND CUTE POSES... MY GOSH GIRL, YOU HAVE A LOT OF PICTURES. AS YOU REQUESTED, I PUT YOUR ASHES NEXT TO YOUR SISTERS. WHEN IT IS TIME FOR ME TO GO, ALL OF OUR ASHES SHALL BE TOSSED INTO THE WIND, SO WE CAN BE FREE FOREVER AND EVER TOGETHER.
SLEEP TIGHT MY SWEET DAUGHTER
LOVE MAMA ..
 

.. ..

 

BULL

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=356048887&blogId=493550250
my last will has been changed so my son will be the sole beneficiary you loose there are so many me us against u all your lies are out u r fat and lazy cause u stuff your face with food i supported u 5 months r not sick i am

JUST ME

LOTS OF PEOPLE KNOW ME. MOST OF THEM HAVE KNOWN ME FOR A VERY LONG TIME. I HAVE BEEN WITH UPS FOR 19 YEARS AND MOST MY COWORKERS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. MY LIFE IS NOT A MYSTERY. MY LIFE CAN BE BACKED UP WITH PAPERWORK, WITNESSES ETC.YES, I BEEN MARRIED MANY TIMES. YES I WAS MALESTED AS A CHILD. YES, I WAS RAPED MORE THAN ONCE. NO, I NEVER DID DRUGS. YES, I LOST 3 CHILDREN OF MINE. YES I AM FIGHTING CANCER. YES I HAVE PROOF. YES I AM OWNING MY HOME AND MADE SOMETHING OF MYSELF. YES, I FELL INTO FINANCIAL DOOM AFTER MY TANJA LEFT. YES, I LOCKED MYSELF MANY NIGHTS IN A CAR, SO I WOULD NOT GET BEATEN. YES, I MIGHT LOOSE MY HOUSE, CAUSE I AM JUST NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO GO BACK TO WORK. YES, I SPEND THOUSANDS ON QUINTIN, FOR THINGS HE LIED ABOUT. YES, I KNOW HE IS BI POLAR. YES, I KNOW, HE DOES NOT HAVE CANCER. YES, I AM AFRAID OF HIM. YES, I HAD A GUN HELD TO MY HEAD BEFORE BY AN EXBOYFRIEND. YES, MY MARRIAGE IS A SCAM AND YES, IT WILL DESTROY ME. YES, I LOVE MY SON AND YES, I WILL PICK HIM OVER QUINTIN CLAY DAVIS EVERY SECOND OF MY BEING. YES, I AM LOST. MY LAST MISSION ON THIS EARTH IS TO WARN PEOPLE ABOUT QUINTIN. THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN SCAMMED BY HIM, EVEN SOME ON THIS SITE. YES HE MET ME IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER I OVERDOSED TO FOLLOW MY DAUGHTER INTO DEATH. YES, I FELL INTO HIS TRAP. YES, HE PREYED ON ME AS I WAS SO VULNERABLE

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???

I write this in honor of my publishing company asking me too for defend my name:. I'm responding to what I have heard and read by email about things that have been posted about me: to clear my nameI Quintin Clay Davis,want everyone to know one thing about me, in request by my publishing company, I don't get mad when people put me down, or think I'm something I'm not as a song writer my songs are from my heart and real life situations, of what I personally went through or co-writers have been through or even friends or family members of mine.The best thing about being a song writer is you can build the song around a character that you have in mind or new for that matter.It's what I do I know up in Minnesota there are many people who don't like me and have to put me down left and right, or make fun of me, and the sad part is they don't even know the real me... I know things about my wife that many people don't know and I won't put it on a blog because to me, it’s between family, and with all we have been through in both of our lives, I can't believe that people are putting me down as well as my wife putting me down. Especially since I have done nothing of the kind, I have spoken the truth, and she is amazing women, that has been through so much in her life, to be as strong as she is... I wish my wife nothing but the best and if by her putting me down is making herself feel better then so be it go ahead, Hell Yawl can do it. Because you can yawl bet I will be writing songs about yawl that have put me down...I will be the first to admit I have done some things wrong in my past life, but who hasn't, I will even admit that I did lie to many of my girlfriends and friends from the years of 2004-1988 I know that for a fact now... I as well lied to one of my girlfriends once to her face and never really realized that I did it and for that I will never forget myself simply because I lost her. But see god sent me her for one reason to find myself again even though, it just made me loose myself all over again when it ended. God wanted me to know that lying is not right and so I have not lied to anyone since my two lies I told her, one I never meant to lay it came out...I know many people again hate me in Mn including my wife, I still love her, I know her friends hate me and say things about me that are not true and it saddens me because yawl only have heard her side... and its all ok I guess with me, because all I want is my wife to be well, My wife claims I'm a conman that is a so mean and so wrong, she as well claims I took all her money, I'll admit I borrowed money from my wife before we were husband and wife yet I asked her are you sure you got enough to cover your bills, she said yes...I'm sick of being put down, over cyber space and me defending what I truly did, let’s face it, I'm the one who is admitting what I did, do wrong, I have and always will be that man...I will always remember what my grandpa told me, it doesn't matter what others think and say, because if you know what you have and you know its true that is all that matters in the end... so stand up and be proud of who you areI' am proud of who I' am I will as well admit that I was not the best husband to my wife, I was sick though as well, I was over weight, had no energy what so ever, no motivation, no nothing... my meds were off as well, and my wife knew that , she knew I was bi- polar and as well suffering from a battle with cancer. As my wife also is fighting... I love my wife , I love my family, and I love life, I regret being the husband who just wasn’t in the mood to do anything around the house, when with all my other ex's I did it with out a problem, I even admit I yelled with a loud voice to my wife a few times, I think it was to be heard, I did my things wrong and knew I did them and apologized many times, I 'm the type who when saying the vows meant them... I want to go the extra mile, she is the one who does not, she stopped talking to me so we couldn’t work it, I don't blame my wife she is amazing women, she has been through allot in her life, with many losses, and so I wish my wife a fast recovery and a way of life to fight to live it.... to go and get the help she needs to be happy,Everyone just remember if someone has to put you down, they are doing it because they are not happy with there own life, if you did something wrong no matter what it was, confess stand up, and do it with pride and take what ever comes your way... You might get your name put in the gutter, but if you did nothing that they are saying wrong stand up and fight, if you did do what they are saying, say I did admit it... life is so much easier that way trust me... and if your a song writer, well just a write a song or two about it... I want to say special thanks to my staff for bringing all this to my attention and for your hard work.Posted By: Staff at Quintin Clay Davis L.L.C